Yeah, I caved. What of it?

So, remember a week ago, when I said I was going to go with the flow and not have my midwife do internal checks? He'll come when he wants to come! The internal exams don't really give you good information on when labor will start anyway! Why bother with the discomfort! This is a good lesson in how I need to let go of control!

Yeah, that all sounded good, right? Then I went to the midwife yesterday and totally insisted that she do an internal exam.

I've discovered the difference between 37 weeks pregnant and 38 weeks pregnant. At 37 weeks, you're all "Whoo hoo! I'm full term! I could go into labor any time now! Yay!" You finish up all the little last minute packing and nesting and getting ready, and you're excited, and you just know it must be coming soon.

Then at 38 weeks, you're all, "Ok... you've been full term for a week... I know you're not 'due' for another two weeks, but I thought we agreed that you could come out any time now... So where are you? We are ready. We are bored. Are you really going to make me go all the way to the due date or *gasp* beyond? You don't need to do that! You're full term, baby. Did we not mention that?"

At the same time, Every. Single. Person. You. Know. starts saying "You're still here?!" or "You haven't had that baby yet?!" or "Still pregnant?!" or "When are you going to have that baby?!" They say this every day. And then there are the people that you've complained to about hearing this all the time, and they say it to be funny. And even THAT makes you want to throw something at their head. Even Mike has been getting endless "She hasn't had that baby yet??" comments, and he doesn't have a huge physical reminder taunting people at all times, begging to be mentioned.

So, anyway. I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday, and the thought of peeing in a cup, getting my blood pressure checked and walking out without any information again just wasn't going to cut it. So I did the exam (and they are most decidedly not fun). And found out that I am 0 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced. Let's just say that is not very impressive and probably means I've got a while to go. Of course, I could still go at any moment. No one knows what truly starts labor. But in all likelihood, it ain't happenin' any time soon.

This is both annoying and a relief for me. It's annoying because (in case I haven't made this clear), I want to have this baby, like, 3 days ago. But it's a relief because at least I know I've probably got a while to go. I can stop thinking, "I wonder if it will happen today... or tonight... or maybe early tomorrow morning... or maybe tomorrow after work." Instead, I can plan to go to the Penn State bar to watch the first game of the season on Saturday. (I checked and my Posluszny jersey fits over my bump! Yesssssss!) Maybe I can even go out to watch the start of the NFL next Sunday. I can definitely squeeze in another dinner at Mi Pueblo. (Mike: You and me. Friday night. Date?)

Ok, full disclosure: I'm still hoping that I fall into the minority that can say, "And I was only 50 percent effaced and ZERO cm dilated, and I went into labor the NEXT DAY." But at least I am aware that it's much more likely that I'll be having at least one more midwife appointment, and possibly another one (ugh, or two) after that. So I can kinda, sorta stop obsessing about it. A little. In theory.

My mom suggested that maybe now that I have some information, I'll have satisfied my curiosity and won't feel the need for any more exams. But I know myself, and I've totally opened up a can of worms here. Next week, I'll need to know if I've made any progress. Guess there are some things you just can't change about yourself!