Yeah, I caved. What of it?

So, remember a week ago, when I said I was going to go with the flow and not have my midwife do internal checks? He'll come when he wants to come! The internal exams don't really give you good information on when labor will start anyway! Why bother with the discomfort! This is a good lesson in how I need to let go of control!

Yeah, that all sounded good, right? Then I went to the midwife yesterday and totally insisted that she do an internal exam.

I've discovered the difference between 37 weeks pregnant and 38 weeks pregnant. At 37 weeks, you're all "Whoo hoo! I'm full term! I could go into labor any time now! Yay!" You finish up all the little last minute packing and nesting and getting ready, and you're excited, and you just know it must be coming soon.

Then at 38 weeks, you're all, "Ok... you've been full term for a week... I know you're not 'due' for another two weeks, but I thought we agreed that you could come out any time now... So where are you? We are ready. We are bored. Are you really going to make me go all the way to the due date or *gasp* beyond? You don't need to do that! You're full term, baby. Did we not mention that?"

At the same time, Every. Single. Person. You. Know. starts saying "You're still here?!" or "You haven't had that baby yet?!" or "Still pregnant?!" or "When are you going to have that baby?!" They say this every day. And then there are the people that you've complained to about hearing this all the time, and they say it to be funny. And even THAT makes you want to throw something at their head. Even Mike has been getting endless "She hasn't had that baby yet??" comments, and he doesn't have a huge physical reminder taunting people at all times, begging to be mentioned.

So, anyway. I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday, and the thought of peeing in a cup, getting my blood pressure checked and walking out without any information again just wasn't going to cut it. So I did the exam (and they are most decidedly not fun). And found out that I am 0 cm dilated and 50 percent effaced. Let's just say that is not very impressive and probably means I've got a while to go. Of course, I could still go at any moment. No one knows what truly starts labor. But in all likelihood, it ain't happenin' any time soon.

This is both annoying and a relief for me. It's annoying because (in case I haven't made this clear), I want to have this baby, like, 3 days ago. But it's a relief because at least I know I've probably got a while to go. I can stop thinking, "I wonder if it will happen today... or tonight... or maybe early tomorrow morning... or maybe tomorrow after work." Instead, I can plan to go to the Penn State bar to watch the first game of the season on Saturday. (I checked and my Posluszny jersey fits over my bump! Yesssssss!) Maybe I can even go out to watch the start of the NFL next Sunday. I can definitely squeeze in another dinner at Mi Pueblo. (Mike: You and me. Friday night. Date?)

Ok, full disclosure: I'm still hoping that I fall into the minority that can say, "And I was only 50 percent effaced and ZERO cm dilated, and I went into labor the NEXT DAY." But at least I am aware that it's much more likely that I'll be having at least one more midwife appointment, and possibly another one (ugh, or two) after that. So I can kinda, sorta stop obsessing about it. A little. In theory.

My mom suggested that maybe now that I have some information, I'll have satisfied my curiosity and won't feel the need for any more exams. But I know myself, and I've totally opened up a can of worms here. Next week, I'll need to know if I've made any progress. Guess there are some things you just can't change about yourself!

38 weeks

*The baby is now ... 7 pounds, 20 inches long. Give or take.

*How I'm feeling: Impatient. It's probably not good to be impatient yet, cuz I still have nearly 2 weeks until my due date. But I can't help it. I want to meet the little guy! I've decided that I've been pregnant long enough.

Physically, I feel ok, considering I'm 38 weeks pregnant. The joints in my fingers and feet hurt more and more each day, but it's more of an annoyance than anything else. I've remained remarkably un-swollen, so I'm counting my blessings on that and continuing to elevate my feet every possible second. I'm still having a lot of crampy, painful Braxton Hicks contractions and I've also started feeling the kind that most people get -- where I can feel my stomach tighten up and get hard. It's super weird and sort of amusing, actually.

I just canNOT get comfortable at all, especially at night. I do pretty well for most of the day, but at about 8 p.m. every night, I hit a wall where every position is uncomfortable and every movement is a chore that takes too much effort. And the peeing... my god. If I'm not peeing, I have to pee. It can make you kind of crazy, as Mike can probably attest after I had a minor breakdown last night about how a person simply cannot spend that much time on such a mundane task! There are too many other things to do! I know it's mostly because I'm 9 months pregnant and the little guy thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy, but it's also because I drink SO MUCH water. But I know all the water is probably helping to keep the swelling down and is keeping me feeling pretty good, so cutting back isn't really an option.

*Physical differences from last week: Not much different. Maybe a tad bigger, but nothing really noticeable.

*What's been on my mind: I've been wondering what he's going to be like. Will he have lots of hair or be totally bald? Will he be calm and laid back or colicky? What kind of personality and interests will he have? Will he love football or be way into science? I can't wait to find out! No matter who he is, I just know I'm gonna love every little bit of him.

*What I'm looking forward to: Becoming a family of three. Introducing him to all the stuff we love doing a couple (going out to dinner on a weeknight "just cuz," weekend trips to Flagstaff, getting ice cream in mini baseball helmets at spring training games, Saturday morning hikes), and discovering all kinds of new, fun things through his eyes.

*Other random thoughts: Pushing down on my belly does not make him pop out. Caffeine does not get him so "hopped up" that he decides it's time to come out and party. Bribes of toys don't work. Stern lectures don't work.

I refuse to resort to drinking castor oil, so I guess he's just gonna come out when he darn well feels like it.

Dear Braxton Hicks,

Hello there.

At first, I appreciated your visit, but you have overstayed your welcome. I thought your presence might have indicated that exciting things were on the horizon, but now I see your true colors. You are just a pest. Please vacate the premises immediately.

On your way out, please tell your cousin, Real Contractions, that he is welcome any time.

Best,
The Vessel

Ramblings

1. Apparently, strong Braxton Hicks = the little guy dropping even more. Yesterday, I had strong, fairly painful false contractions all day long. The last time I had a day like that was the day he dropped for the first time. Sure enough, gradually over the course of the day, I became more and more uncomfortable until he was so low that it felt like he was going to fall out of me at any moment. Ah, if only it were that easy! When I got home, I showed Mike, and he agreed that I was carrying a very low Rhino. And a co-worker confirmed it today when I walked in her office and she let out a "Whoa!! He's even lower today! Oh my god!"

2. Carrying a baby lower has its pluses and minuses. It's easier to breath, which is really nice. That's a very big positive. But it's an interesting sensation when you're walking. I feel like I need to hold my stomach up to keep him from falling out (although, like I said, I'm not opposed to that happening). It's also a little harder to get comfortable when sitting. I can just barely cross my legs. I almost always sit with my legs crossed, so I spend all day crossing them, thinking "wow, that's not comfortable," uncrossing them, and then a few minutes later, crossing them again out of habit. Vicious cycle.

3. I won't even tell you how many times I got up to pee last night. I think I was in the bathroom more than I was in bed. Mike finally asked me around 4 a.m. if everything was ok. I am SO well-trained for all those mid-night feedings!

4. I am still wearing (low) heels and wedges to work on most days that I know I won't have to do a lot of walking. And you know what? I walk completely normally in them. When I wear flats and flip flops, however, I am a waddling fool. My midwife confirmed that since I wore heels so regularly pre-pregnancy, my body has a stronger natural balance with them on. How 'bout that? She said since I am steadier on heels, they're perfectly safe for me to be wearing.

5. This morning as I was leaving for work, Mike smiled and said, "We're one day closer to the birth!" That made me pause for a second, as I thought, "But we don't know when that is..." But then I realized he's right! No matter when it is, we ARE one day closer. For some reason, that gave me a huge mental and emotional boost. I will now be repeating this to myself every morning until we're a family of three.

My appointment was... fine

When your midwife/doctor doesn't do internal checks at this point in the pregnancy, the weekly visits seem a little repetitive and, well, pointless. I pee in a cup. They check my blood pressure and comment how awesome it is (go me!). They listen to the baby's heartbeat (always around 140 bpm). They tell me he's still head down (good boy! get low!).

And then after my appointment, everyone asks me how it went and whether I'm making progress. And all I can really say is that the appointment was fine and I have no idea.

See, by this point in the pregnancy, most doctors are doing internal checks each week to see whether the cervix is dilating and effacing (opening and thinning out) at all. Both are sort of an indication of labor starting. Sorta, kinda, but not really. I was hoping/expecting to start the internal checks at my 36 or 37 week appointment, but at my 36 week appointment, my midwife burst my bubble. They don't routinely do them.

The reason: The exams are uncomfortable and intrusive, and in all honesty, what they find during the exams doesn't change the advice they give their patients. No matter how much I'm dilated or effaced, I should still be exercising, eating right, sleeping on my left side if possible, propping my feet up when I can, etc, etc.

And the information they find isn't a great indicator of when you're actually going to go into labor anyway because every woman and every pregnancy is different. Some women find out they're only 1 cm dilated and then go into labor that night. Other women waddle around at 3 cm dilated for weeks. So telling me I've made "progress" and am slightly more dilated or effaced really means absolutely nothing. I could still go into labor tonight, or I could still have 3 weeks to go.

This is one of those cases where I can really see the difference between a midwife and an OB. OBs all do internal checks. They're doctors, and they want all the possible information. If they can find out how much you're dilated, they're gonna check. It's just in their nature. Midwives are a little more go-with-the-flow. They know it doesn't really matter what they find, so why put you through the physical discomfort of the exam?

I think their philosophy has been good for me. I'm the type of person who needs to be in control and have all the information. But I'm about to embark on a journey in which I will have to live with the fact that I can't control everything. I can't keep my kid perfectly safe 100 percent of the time. I can't know what is happening with him every second of every day. Maybe learning to relax and see what happens without knowing every possible piece of information beforehand is a good lesson for me.

Besides, the midwife would still do the check if I really wanted one. She said it's my body and the information is rightfully mine to have, so if I want to know, she'd be happy to do it. So, I'm taking it one week at a time. I still felt it was too early to become obsessed about dilating and effacing this week, so I didn't request an exam. I'm pretty sure I can get through next week's appointment without knowing. Maybe by weeks 39 or 40, I'll be singing a different tune. But for now, I'm content with just letting my body do what it needs to do and go at its own pace without me knowing every single detail.

I should also say that this is just what I feel is best for me at this moment with this midwife. I totally understand why women would want the checks and would want to have all the information they could get their hands on. If my midwife had simply said, "Ok, time to do an internal check!" I would have gone along with it without a second thought. I just appreciate that she got me thinking a little more philosophically about it, and it made me realize that this was a good opportunity to train myself to relax a bit and not get so wrapped up in all the details. At least for now. ;)

37 weeks

*The baby is now ... 6.5 pounds! FULL TERM!

*How I'm feeling: I'm feeling rather full term these days. The belly is all kinds of big and low. I tried pushing on it last night to pop the little guy out, but it didn't work. ;) All in all, I'm still doing well. The joints in my hands and feet hurt pretty much all the time. According to Google, this is due to the hormone relaxin that is released to "relax" the pelvis so the Rhino can come out more easily (sounds good to me!). But the hormone doesn't just relax the pelvis, it can "relax" the joints in other areas of your body, too, namely your feet. That's why some women's feet grow with each pregnancy. The feet expand and then never retract!! I've been hoping that won't happen to me, but the joint pain I'm feeling leads me to believe that it will. I've come to terms with it, though - little man is worth it! Besides, if some joint pain is all I have to complain about at 37 weeks, then I'm going to count my blessings.

*Physical differences from last week: He continues to get low, get low, get low! More people are commenting now on how they can tell that he has dropped. The low pressure I feel most of the time now confirms that. He is most definitely running out of room. Every little shift in position now feels like he is clawing at various organs, desperately trying to bust out. (If you're ready, go toward the light, little guy!!)

My clumsiness is increasing. I run into everything (sorry, toes). I can no longer get off the floor without Mike hoisting me (and he usually grunts when he does it... nice). Well, I can get up on my own; I just have to do it in several phases with breaks between moves. Even getting down to the floor has become a challenge. I was getting ready to paint yesterday (more on that to come), and my belly and clumsiness combined and I sort of half-sat/half-fell to the floor. I'm sure it was not pretty. But hey, when you gotta paint, you gotta paint, right?!

*What's been on my mind: Holyjeezwe'regonnahaveababysoon! Now when I schedule meetings at work, I wonder whether I'll actually attend them. When I come in on Monday mornings, my co-workers are half surprised to see me. Everything we plan comes with the caveat "unless I go into labor before then."

I've also been thinking a lot about the upcoming holidays and how he'll be here with us for them. We've got his Halloween costume already. We've really got to get a bigger table for Thanksgiving dinner to accommodate two extra people -- my soon-to-be brother-in-law AND my son! We've got warm clothes for him for his first trip to Sedona to see the Christmas lights. It's going to be a great year. :)

*What I'm looking forward to: Labor. Can you believe I just said that? Labor is the thing I've been scared of since about 5 minutes after I read "pregnant" on that test on New Year's Eve. But now I'm looking forward to it, hoping every day for signs that it has arrived. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to a particularly strong Braxton Hicks contraction and hoped it was the real thing. I've never been so excited to have a strong cramp! Alas, it was nothing, but my excitement over it was sort of amusing. This is why women are pregnant for so long -- so you have time to get over the fear and arrive at a place of "I've been pregnant long enough, I want to meet my baby, let's DO this."

*Other random thoughts: I must say... in case it isn't obvious yet... I am married to the best guy in the world. He has spent countless weekends doing whatever baby preparation I am currently obsessed with. He's gone to tons of classes, put together about 50 different pieces of assorted baby gear, hung tons of stuff on walls. He has spent hours (days?) at Babies R Us. Two or three of those visits have coincided with a Phillies game that was tied in the ninth inning (and yes, he is noticeably more distracted when this happens, checking his phone every 15-30 seconds for the score... but that's to be expected). He has cooked 99.9 percent of the meals we've eaten at home since January. He rubs my back every single night because it's the only way to get rid of the restlessness that hits me at night and prevents me from sleeping.

And it's not even that he does this stuff, but that he wants to and even enjoys doing it. We were at Babies R Us again on Saturday, using some gift cards to buy up a couple of last minute items off our registry, and we decided to check out the toys. We were looking for one in particular that was on our registry and couldn't find it, but he came across another one -- a stuffed octopus that plays a bunch of songs. He played with it for several minutes as I looked at other toys, and he finally said, "This is awesome. It can go anywhere with him! I'm getting this," and walked away with it under his arm. It melts my heart when I see him get that excited about something for our little guy. It's so clear that he would do anything for me and our son, and I love him so much for that.

*Drum roll*

We're full term today! FULL TERM.

Dearest Rhino,

You are now officially welcome to come on out whenever you would like! Sooner rather than later, please? If you come out early, maybe mommy will buy you a fun new toy for being such a good boy! Ok, ok, I'll buy you toys anyway. You can probably already tell I'm a total sucker.

I've been carrying you in my belly for 37 weeks, and I am ready to carry you in my arms now. Dad is ready, too. Just the other night, he asked, "when is this baby coming out?!?" I can tell he's excited to meet you. (I think he mostly wants to sing the Penn State fight song directly to you without all the interference from my belly.)

You're going to totally change our lives, and we can't wait! Come join the fun!

Love,
Mom

Maternity photo shoot

I realized lately that I never blogged about our maternity photo shoot! I'm sure most (if not all) of you have seen these photos a million times by now, but I still want to document them properly. :)

Some friends went in together to purchase the maternity photos (and newborn photos of Ryan!!) as a gift for my baby shower. It was such a good idea - and one that I fully intend to steal for future baby showers I attend! The maternity photos were a real treat. They are something that I've always thought were nice, but weren't something I would splurge on for myself. And although the weekly bump pictures that Mike takes are sufficient in showing my bump's growth, I don't think they really capture our excitement and happiness the way a professional shoot can.

Also, I've always intended to get professional photos taken of the little guy. But in all honesty, I hadn't even thought to research photographers or prices in advance, and the weeks probably would have flown by at the beginning. By the time I got around to it, the Rhino probably wouldn't even really be a newborn anymore. So I'm really grateful that these ladies were so thoughtful, and all I will have to do is set up a date and time to get the photos taken after he's born.

We did the shoot at a cute little lake/park area that is tucked away behind a strip mall in Tempe. I thought it was a perfect location for us because it was so green and pretty, like a park you would find back east. It's sort of a nice contrast to our wedding photos, which were taken at the Desert Botanical Garden and are so Arizona. We headed out bright and early on a Saturday morning in July, trying to avoid as much heat as we could. It had rained in Tempe the day/night before, so it was a little humid, but overall, I think we got off pretty easy.

I was 31 weeks along when I got the gift at my shower, and the photographer likes to do maternity shoots between 32 and 34 weeks. So, I contacted her immediately and we did the shoot the next weekend, when I was right at 32 weeks.

Here are a few of my favorites:

We're packed!

I'm the type of person who always tries to be prepared for any event, situation or circumstance within my control. Lots of research goes into all major decisions. I'm just not a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of person.

Therefore, I'm a little surprised that I didn't have the hospital bag packed at, oh, 20 weeks. I don't know what has been holding me back. Perhaps a bit of denial that a hospital is going to eventually factor into this whole equation?

I can only put aside so much stuff. A lot of stuff (glasses, cell phone charger, PJs, pillows) will have to be thrown together at the last minute. But I have been stocking up on travel-size toiletries, and there are some clothing items that could be put aside ahead of time. I guess I just kept feeling like it was too early.

Then a couple of women I know started telling me their stories last week about going into labor at 34 and 35 weeks and being completely unprepared. I was 36 weeks. Uh oh. As I was driving home from work on Friday, in pain from false labor contractions, I couldn't believe I'd let myself go this long without packing. Me. Not packed. Totally unprepared. Oops.

In all likelihood, I'll have hours of labor at home anyway, and it won't really be an issue. But still. You never know. And maybe I'd rather spend that time taking a shower and eating pasta! So on Sunday, I got down to business. The result:

I even have a list written up of all the last-minute things we need to throw in the suitcase before we head to the hospital. And I think I can safely say that I didn't over pack (by much).

Let the nesting begin

I have wondered whether the nesting instinct would kick in with me at all. I've read lots of stories of women who suddenly had to clean the floorboards in their entire home. The midwife who taught my childbirth class said the only times she scrubbed the inside of her kitchen cabinets were the few times she was 9-months pregnant.

But I haven't felt any major urges to clean. Sure, I'm still trying to keep things as clean and tidy as my energy will allow. But I haven't obsessively emptied and scrubbed the pantry or anything.

However, my nesting appears to be manifesting itself in a different way: home improvement projects. I am suddenly trying to frantically finish some projects that I've been meaning to get to for a long time. Years, in some cases.

Take, for example, the cabinets in the vanity area of the master bedroom. I have been meaning to paint those since the week I moved into the condo. Nearly five years ago. And recently I decided that enough is enough, and this must be done. So I dragged Mike to Home Depot on Sunday to collect a million paint samples. See the insanity:

I fully intend to be painting next weekend.

I also went to Target for some odds and ends and came back with two brand new towel racks for the master bathroom/vanity area (I guess that whole area is under fire). Mike, perhaps sensing that I meant business, immediately installed them. I'd been meaning to do this little project for about a year and a half.

Then, as I mentioned in my TV post, I've been redecorating the living room a bit. I decided to buy a collage photo frame to display some family photos. This is now on the wall between the TV and the rocking chair (note the ultrasound picture in the top right frame... awww):

And I'm not done. No, sir. I am still on the hunt for a couple more decorative items for the living room and dining room, I need to paint those cabinets in the master vanity and get some knobs on the doors. And then... there is the wet bar. Yes, that darned wet bar that has been the bane of my existence since I bought this place. I've always hated it. I've hidden it behind a tall bookcase, which satisfied me for a couple of years. But no more. I cannot stand it. It has to go. My son cannot live in a condo that has a completely unnecessary wet bar. I just won't allow it.

Yes, I know that last part was totally irrational. Yes, I know that an infant does not care whether we have a wet bar (or even whether the cabinets in our bedroom have a fresh coat of paint, for that matter). But I care. It must go. I only hope I have enough time to get it taken care of before the little guy arrives.

If I had more time (well, and money), we'd also be getting a new kitchen sink, all kinds of new faucets and new shower knobs and hardware. We'd be painting the entire kitchen, including the cabinets. But I'm trying to remain somewhat reasonable and not drive my poor hubby to the brink of sudden home improvement insanity. No promises, though.

36 weeks

*The baby is now ... 6 pounds! 20 inches! The size of some kind of melon that Mike and I have never heard of!


*How I'm feeling: Like a big ol' pregnant lady. ;) Well, as I blogged about before, I've been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions. But other than my feet being tired and/or sore a lot, I'm still doing pretty well. I spend most of my day walking back and forth to the bathroom. But all the walking is good, right?

*Physical differences from last week: Get low, get low, get loooow! I've been singing that since Friday, when the little guy dropped. I actually know exactly when he dropped, which is super weird. I had some stronger, more painful Braxton Hicks contractions for about 2 hours straight, without any relief. I got home from work, propped my feet up, drank lots of water and called the on-call midwife to make sure what I was feeling was still normal (it was). When Mike got home from work and the contractions eased up, I stood up, and whoa. Baby got low! I could feel a lot of lower pressure and just knew he was in a new position. I looked in the mirror, and it was very obvious to both of us: the rhino dropped.

It's a bit of a relief, because he hadn't seemed interested lately in going head down and staying head down. He seemed to enjoy rolling and somersaulting into any position he could conjure up. But if he hadn't been head-down at today's appointment, they would have made me to go one of the OBs at the hospital so they could try to move him into position (otherwise they'd most likely start talking c-section). They have to do that between 35 and 37 weeks, before he gets too big to move (but after he's big enough that he's likely to stay put once they move him). I don't know about you, but that process doesn't sound like it would be a fun time, so I was really hoping he'd make the move on his own, and he did, just in time. Such a good boy.

The dropping isn't as noticeable in this week's picture, which was taken Saturday morning. He moved back up a bit, I guess. And the low, pressure feeling sort of comes and goes. But overall, I think he's settling in.

*What's been on my mind: Packing the hospital bag! Finishing up some projects around the condo! (More on both of those topics in upcoming posts.)

*What I'm looking forward to: FIVE DAYS until I'm full term! As of Saturday morning, I will officially be ok with him coming whenever he would like.

*Other random thoughts: Baby dropping = new center of gravity = difficulty walking. I think Mike finds this to be rather amusing.

False labor = fun

Early last week, I started feeling a dull pain in my lower abdomen. I've felt that on and off a couple of times throughout the pregnancy and never thought much about it. I attributed it to growing pains. I'd feel it for a bit, I'd drink some water and put my feet up, and it would go away. No big deal.

But this week has been different. It lasts longer, and it goes away... but then it comes back again. Over and over, all day long. But there wasn't any sort of pattern to it, so for a day or two, I thought it still might just be growing pains.

But after talking to my sister-in-law (and subsequently, a nurse at my midwives' office), I realized that it's actually Braxton Hicks contractions or "false labor." I had read that many people describe BH contractions to feel like a tightening of the abdomen with no pain. But my belly feels pretty hard all the time, so it's hard for me to tell if it's tightening or not, and I guess they feel a little different for everyone. For me, they feel like a mild period cramp. That dull, annoying sort of cramping.

The nurse said it is perfectly normal, especially at this point in the pregnancy. It's my body's way of practicing. Sort of like training for a marathon. It wants to make sure it knows what it is doing before the main event, I guess. I appreciate my body's forethought on that. The nurse said to drink lots of water (if only this woman knew how much water I already drink...), keep my feet up when I can and take breaks from work whenever possible. She encouraged me to keep doing aerobic exercise and to watch out for any other labor signs. If the contractions become regular enough to time, then it's more likely the real deal. But for now, they just come and go with no pattern.

After talking with the nurse, it really hit me -- I am pregnant. Very pregnant, in fact. With a baby. I'm going to have contractions, go into labor and give birth. Like, soon. Probably (hopefully) sometime in the next month. I knew that already, of course, but feeling these contractions has really brought home how close we are. I'm less than a week away from being full term. We might have four weeks left... we might have one week left. Either scenario is totally feasible.

A couple nights ago, I woke up several times (to pee, of course), and was greeted each time with the false contractions. It was the first time I'd felt them in the middle of the night, and the first time I woke up and felt it, my heart started racing. I thought, "Wait -- what if this is a real contraction, and I don't know it because I've been sleeping!!!" But I knew the pain was way too light to really be much of anything, so I went back to bed. But that split second of "could this be..." was such a weird feeling.

I'm sure I've got at least another couple of weeks to go. I don't feel like he's quite big enough or ready yet. My gut (haha) tells me that he'll be a little early but that we've still got a few weeks left. I told a co-worker a few days ago that I'd started feeling the false labor contractions. This is the woman who is also planning my office baby shower. She yelled out, "Oh! Two weeks to go, then! I have to get that shower going!" and rushed out of my office. My shower is now scheduled for Wednesday. ;)

My friend Kristin went into labor about 2 or 2.5 weeks after she started feeling Braxton Hicks, so maybe there is something to that "two week" rule. But really, I think every pregnancy is different. Some women feel them for months before going into labor. Others never feel them at all. He'll come whenever he darn well pleases, and we'll be ready for him when he does!

Being pregnant in the heat

I'm not gonna lie -- I spent most of the early part of my pregnancy dreading how I would feel at the end. I've lived in Arizona for six years, and this is my seventh summer here. I'm used to the heat. I can even say I don't mind it much. But I'd never been 8-9 months pregnant before, and I imagined being that pregnant in that kind of heat would be anything but fun.

I've gotten a lot of "Oh, you must be SO uncomfortable in this heat!" and even more "What were you thinking being this pregnant over the summer?!" Oh, and then there are the looks of pure pity I get from co-workers as I walk across campus.

Well, ok. We didn't set out with the intent for me to be this pregnant during the hottest months. That's just how it worked out. We knew I had to be at my job for at least a year before I gave birth or I wouldn't quality for FMLA. My one-year anniversary at EVIT was July 27. So having a spring baby wasn't an option for us. And since that anniversary required us waiting a bit longer than we wanted to before we could start trying, I really didn't want to wait any longer just to avoid being pregnant during the summer. That seems like a silly reason to put our plans on hold even more.

And you know what? It hasn't been that bad. Yeah, it's hot out. Yeah, I wish it were about 20-30 degrees cooler. Sure. Of course. But I spend about 95 percent of my day in my home, in a store, in my office or in a car. Modern living is a wonderful thing, and all of those areas are air conditioned. I can't go for long walks around the neighborhood as I would like to do at night. But that just forces me to use my stepper at home, which is a better aerobic workout anyway.

There are times when the baby overheats me, and the air conditioning in the condo just isn't enough to cool me off. I get whiny, and Mike turns on a fan and points it at me, and all is right with the world again.

Also... (and I hate to say this for fear of jinxing myself) ... this summer just has not been that bad (I totally just sentenced Phoenix to a month of 115-degree days). We've had a couple of weekends where the weather has miraculously broken and dipped back into the 90s for a couple of days. That's practically unheard of. We went to San Diego, where the weather was nothing short of perfect. I was cold when we were watching fireworks in Prescott. I've lived here during summers where we've broken records for the number of consecutive days over 110, and this summer just hasn't been that bad. It's all about perspective.

I'm uncomfortable, yes. But that's because I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant and am carrying a 30-pound bowling ball around my mid-section. Heat or no heat, that's hard work. The heat just hasn't been an extra burden on me, as I worried it would be. As my father-in-law would say: it is what it is.

So, no pity needed here. I'm a-ok.

The Great Big Car Seat Installation Update!

I failed to mention some very good news in my weekly post this week. Over the weekend, Mike and I drove to a nearby Phoenix fire station, where fire fighters inspect car seats to make sure they are properly installed. There has been a huge push out here for people to get their car seats inspected by local fire departments because many people install them incorrectly, which essentially renders them unsafe.

Each inspection appointment is slated for a half hour, so our appointments were at 9 and 9 :30 a.m. I wondered why it would take so long, but I think many people simply bring the car seats and have the fire fighters install it for them. Mike insisted on attempting the install, because he wants to make sure he knows how to do it.

But the inspections for both of our cars only took about a total of 10 minutes, instead of a full hour. That's because Mike's installation was practically perfect. Even the fireman was impressed -- he shook his hand and told him, "good job." I think it's safe to say he was relieved. :)

So we can safely drive the little guy home whenever he's ready to make his appearance!

P.S. It's a little surreal to see a car seat in your car every morning.

A new TV... for safety reasons, of course

A couple of months back, I became slightly concerned (read: obsessed) with the idea of Ryan pulling a piece of heavy furniture over on himself. A couple of recent news stories, combined with a heart-wrenching story I read on Facebook really got to me, and I began insisting that Mike mount the little guy's dresser to the wall.

I also became concerned about our TV and entertainment center. I actually still really loved them both (the TV was getting up there in age, but still had a great picture). But the TV is one of those big, older, heavy models. Also, the bottom of the entertainment center was damaged years ago in the move across the country, and although we had rigged it back together to make it stable, I don't trust its ability to withstand the yanking of a little Rhino.

Meanwhile, Mike has wanted a flat screen HDTV for quite a while. I have fought it because I have a hard time getting rid of something that works perfectly well. (And those things are pricey!)

Usually when I mention my newest crazy child-safety obsession, Mike is barely able to contain his amusement at what he deems to be an overreaction. (i.e., "We're not going to leave our son in a hot car, Meg... We do not need to buy the baby-sensing alarms for our cars.") Yet, when I mentioned my concern over the TV, he immediately agreed and began researching new TVs. Very curious.

After much shopping and price comparisons, we chose a new, smaller stand and a pretty awesome (bigger) TV that is much lighter and can easily be secured to the wall. Of course, we had to completely tear apart our condo in the process. The old TV and utter destruction:


The new look:


The new TV and stand, along with the new painting we bought (above the couch) has inspired me to do a bit more redecorating in the living room, hence why the walls look a little bare right now. I'm hoping to go shopping this weekend to finish the room off.

And it's kind of hard to see in the picture, so this is what the new stand looks like:See the sacrifices we make for our little guy? ;)

ONE MONTH!

One month until my due date, people!

Well... one month until the due date that I'm going by.

Although I've been telling people that my due date is Sept. 11 throughout the whole pregnancy, my doctor's office would actually tell you that it's Sept. 13. The discrepancy is sort of a long story that involves some very long cycles on my part (hence not being able to date me in the way pregnant women usually are dated), them loosely "estimating" my due date before an ultrasound by taking my knowledge of the situation and rounding to the nearest week, and then not updating the chart when the ultrasound confirmed my dates to the exact day. I know when I got pregnant, thankyouverymuch, but since the discrepancy was only two days, they weren't concerned enough to change it on the chart, I guess.

To throw another wrench into the equation, someone also mistakenly wrote "Sept. 03" on one of my charts instead of "Sept. 13" several weeks back, and the conversation that ensued about that was rather amusing. My response was, "No, I'm not due Sept. 03. Actually, I'm due Sept. 11, but you guys think I'm due Sept. 13." So she changed it back to Sept. 13 as I rolled my eyes.

By that point, I'd gotten so used to saying Sept. 11 that it just sort of stuck. And two days doesn't make much of a difference anyway - he's going to join us whenever he darn well pleases. Plus, it's kind of funny to watch people's reaction when you tell them you're due on such an infamous day. I often get a happy "Oh!" followed by a serious "Ohhh" as the significance of the date occurs to them. Hehehe.

So anyway, that was a very long way to say that I'm ONE MONTH FROM MY DUE DATE! WHOO!

Random cuteness

We've been doing some last-minute rearranging of little boy stuff. We finally got our hamper, which looks adorable next to the little guy's dresser:


And thanks to our friends Jen and Jason, Ryan will have hours of fun sitting/vibrating in this:

And last but not least, the hamper and bouncy seat took up residence in the corner that once housed the high chair, so we needed to find a new home for that. We obviously don't have a ton of storage options in our condo, so we said "to heck with it" and stuck it at the table, since that's where it will be needed eventually anyway. I almost died when I saw how cute it looked there:

It's going to be a long day.

I just went to the bathroom, stopped in the break room to get a bit of coffee, and by the time I walked back into my office, I had to go to the bathroom again.

Sigh.

35 weeks

*The baby is now ... 5-1/2 pounds. Honeydew!

*How I'm feeling: Big. During the past week, the exhaustion has hit me again. It's not as bad as it was during the first trimester, but there comes a point each day where I hit a wall and all the energy just gets zapped out of me. I try to get as much done as I can before I hit that point. Also, my feet hurt. All the time. Even right when I wake up. I guess they've been pretty hard at work. But really, I'm still doing well. I haven't had any heartburn or leg cramps, like a lot of pregnant women get, so I'm counting my blessings on that.

*Physical differences from last week: I finally really feel like I'm in the third trimester. I'm definitely rockin' a "pregnant walk." And a slooooow pregnant walk, at that.

*What's been on my mind: I've finally started having dreams about the little guy. Dreams where he's already here (and yes, he's cute). In one dream over the weekend, he was only about 4 weeks old, but he was very advanced. He even talked a little. He would say "bottle!" in the sweetest voice. And I'd say, "You want your bottle?" and he'd say, "Uh huh!" in a cheery little voice. I think my subconscious is trying to prepare me for the fact that it's not just that the pregnancy is going to end soon... we're going to have a baby here with us soon. I'm still not sure I quite comprehend that.

*What I'm looking forward to: In two weeks, I'll be FULL term! If I went into labor today, they probably wouldn't try to stop it. I'm so excited to meet him (and I keep telling Mike that he feels like a nice, sweet baby... hopefully he proves me right!). But I'm also trying to savor our last "just us" weeks. This past weekend, we went out to dinner with some friends and went to a birthday party for another friend's husband. We'll still be able to do that stuff after the little guy joins us, but it won't be as easy to just hop in the car and go enjoy a couple of hours in a restaurant or at a friend's home. So we're definitely being as social as we can right now, while we've got the ease, time and energy to do it.

*Other random thoughts: Football. I've been very concerned about our ability to watch the football games we want. It's hard to live in AZ and be a fan of a Cleveland team that ... well ... isn't good enough to command much AZ air time and a Philly team that is only on *sometimes.* For some odd reason, I've been much more concerned about this than Mike, although I just KNOW that come football Sunday, he'll be the one complaining about the fact that the Eagles game isn't on locally, yet the Seahawks vs. 49ers game is. I know my husband. I know he'll be mad, even if he doesn't think it's a huge deal right now.

Unfortunately, the only way to ensure that we can get all the games we want is to get Direct TV and the NFL Ticket package. That requires canceling our cable and getting satellite TV. We thought about doing this, but it's such a darn hassle. And an expensive one at that. And I'll be on leave, bringing in only some part-time money from whatever work I'm able to do from home, so it's not the best time to be adding to our bills. Luckily, I upgraded our cable to include the sports package last year, which includes the Big 10 network and some other college sports channels, so at least we'll be able to see most of the Penn State games. But the Browns and Eagles are still a challenge.

At first, we said there was no way we'd take a baby to a bar for 3+ hours to watch football. But the closer we get to the arrival of Ryan and football season, the more flexible we're getting about this. We can go to McDuffy's a couple of times just for a bit, we say. That's not really a bar bar... it's a sports bar with tables and booths and people who behave themselves. We could just get a booth in the back, out of the way. He's so little, he'll sleep through most of it anyway, we think (hope). Everyone SAYS we should take him out while he's little because it just gets harder as he gets older!

I also suggested we just make it easy on ourselves and become Cardinals fans, but that idea didn't go over well.

Bless you all...

... for thinking that the Rhino will weigh somewhere between 6 and 8 pounds. I can handle that (I think).

Random items of note from this week

1. I've started getting the "you haven't had that baby yet?!?!" comments. No, I haven't.

2. I wore flip flops for the first time to work today. I think I've been pretty darn good about maintaining a professional look throughout this pregnancy. I've been wearing wedges, low heels and cute flats for months. But you know what? My feet are weary. And it's dress-down day. And I'm almost 35 weeks pregnant. I'm wearing flip flops, and I dare anyone to challenge me on it.

3. I think baby is running out of room. He has become a lot less active this week, and when he does move, it feels like he's scraping my insides. Or drop-kicking my ribs. Or trying to bust out. I'd say he's getting rather big and strong!

4. I'm seriously considering moving into my bathroom. Or at least sleeping in there. It would make my life a lot more efficient, although I suppose I am burning off a lot of pretzel M&Ms with all my walking back and forth to the bathroom.

5. Ahhhhh, yes. Pretzel M&Ms. Pure evil. And by "evil," I mean "awesome." I am addicted. Luckily, I just saw them labeled as a "low-cal snack approved by nutritionists" in my Good Housekeeping magazine today. But I think in order for them to be "low-cal," you can't eat 9 million of them a day. Harumph.

6. If I'm not waddling yet, I'm dangerously close. And you know what? I don't care about that, either. If I need to waddle in flip flops, I'm gonna waddle in flip flops, danggit! So there.

7. Just five weeks (or LESS?! or more?) to go!

The Great Big Car Seat Installation

We all have our fixations. Mine has been securing stuff in the house. I'm very much afraid of Ryan pulling over a dresser or a TV onto himself (the dresser is now secured to the wall, and we're getting a flat screen TV mounted to the wall, much to Mike's delight).

Oh, and then there's that whole labor and delivery thing. It's fair to say I'm fixated on that, too. But any pregnant woman who isn't fixated on that just isn't normal, in my opinion.

I've mentioned before that Mike's fixation is the car seat. He tries to deny it (re: "Oh, I'm not really thinking about that at all..."), but I see right through him (re: "I'm thinking about those car seats again...").

On Sunday, the heat broke for a bit, and he went to it. He installed the car seat bases in both of our cars. We have one seat that easily attaches into the bases, so whoever has the baby will have the car seat.


I took a little video of him finishing up the installation in my car. Yeah, the video is sideways. I don't use the video feature much and forgot that you have to hold the camera horizontally... oops. But you still get the idea. I think you'll know what my favorite part of the video is...

34 weeks

*The baby is now ... 5 pounds. Cantaloupe!

*How I'm feeling: It's official: I'm uncomfortable. If you look to the right, I think you can see why. Mike says my bump is starting to look like a warhead. I glared at him when he said it and then realized he was right.

*Physical differences from last week: I'm huge. Hugehugehuge!

*What's been on my mind: Besides the fact that I'm huge? Well, let's see. I have a book that gives me a weekly update on how the baby is growing, and this week it said that babies born at 34 weeks statistically are just as healthy in the long-term as babies that are born at full-term. If I had him today, he might have to stay in the hospital for a few extra days, but in all likelihood, he would be completely healthy. It makes me tear up just thinking about it!

Also, my friend Kristin had her baby - a beautiful girl named Elle - on Saturday! It seems like Kris and I have been pregnant forever, so to finally see pictures of the little cutie sort of blows my mind (and dang, "cute" doesn't even begin to do her justice). What also blows my mind: I became pregnant very soon after Kris did... so I think it stands to reason that I'll be giving birth very soon, too. Oh my.

*What I'm looking forward to: There's not a whole lot left to do before we meet our little Rhino. We've got an infant CPR class in a couple of weeks, and my co-workers will be throwing me a baby shower sometime this month. And we're rearranging some stuff in the living room because we're in the process of buying a new TV and TV stand. But really, we're pretty much set... the pack 'n play is waiting in the bedroom, the dresser is mounted to the wall (and the changing pad is mounted to the dresser), the bottles are sterilized, the clothes are washed. So I'm just looking forward to meeting this baby now!

I'm also really trying to enjoy the last few weeks where we're just a family of two. It won't be just the two of us again for, oh, about the next 20+ years (unless, as Mike says, we decide to throw our kids out when they turn 13 years old). So I'm letting myself sleep in when I feel like it, and my plan is to spend the next few weeks seeing a lot of movies, eating out whenever we feel like it, and celebrating the end of our alone time together with some O'Douls!

*Other random thoughts: I've started putting stuff aside to be packed for the hospital. I made a trip to Target on Sunday to stock up on travel-sized toiletries for my stay and a couple other odds and ends that I needed. I am, of course, totally over-packing. I realize that I'm doing it, but I can't help myself. I don't know what I'm going to need! I don't know how big Ryan is going to be and what will fit him and what won't! I don't want to be the only mom who didn't think to bring a burp cloth or a hat! I know the hospital will have anything I really need. But I want him to have his own stuff, the stuff family and friends have been spoiling him with for months (and what if he spits up on something?! You have to have 2 - or 4 - of everything!). So anyway. We might need to take the big suitcase.

By the way... it's probably not too likely... but it's entirely possible that I could have this baby THIS MONTH.